Any food I put into my body.
I don’t deserve to eat.

I forgave the people who didn’t believe a word I said.
I forgave the people who promised to help, yet didn’t.
I don’t blame these people for my choices.
I don’t throw my eating disorder in the face of people I love.
I don’t put my struggles on a table for them to see.
And I no longer hate them because I
Was/am to weak to change.
I have no one in the world to blame this on but me.
I’m not the victim.
And I’m not a survivor.
Bad things happen.
But to be your victim
I had to admit you won.
And one day,
And it may not be soon.
I will fix my problems.
Because they are mine, to fix.
Because no matter the damage you inflicted on my body.
It’s ME who must figure out to deal with in in my head.

My world spins,
And I feel like I’m going to fall.
And it gives me a feeling like no other.